Masters of our Destiny

I have always been fascinated by the brilliancy of Martin Luther King Jnr. From a very early age, I bought and digested every book about him that I could lay my hands on. His eloquence, his grasp of history and his relative youthfulness (34 years when he delivered his ‘I have a Dream speech’) were all massively interesting to me. It is even more intriguing that the enduring part of the speech was unscripted - a momentous flash of brilliancy that came out of his deep passion for the cause he championed.

I have watched this speech a dozen times and it has become a regular fodder for my presentation skills training programmes. I suppose what was most important for me was MLK’s deep conviction and the willingness by him and his supporters to push and suffer for what they believed. 

As the 50^th anniversary of the speech is celebrated today and with a black man at the White House, it occurred to me that everything is indeed possible. This gives me hope for my country Nigeria. Things may look bleak at the moment; we may have visionless leaders, and our people may be enslaved to corrupt political, corporate and social elites, I can envisage Nigeria and Nigerians being free one day.

What we must do in the interim, is for everyone who means well for Nigeria to keep the flame blowing by being the best teacher, the careful bus driver, the responsible employer, the diligent employee and the involved citizen wherever they are. The little step taken by each person will become the giant leap to Nigeria’s future.

Secondly, it is common knowledge that freedom is hardly ever freely given, it has to be fought for; the lesson of the civil rights movement is that we must be ready to become the masters of our destiny by fighting for Nigeria’s freedom. The people who benefit from the inefficient systems of Nigeria will never willingly vacate their entrenched positions. They have become a political and economic principality and can only be shifted if and when, like MLK and his group we hold the same level of conviction and passion for change and are willing to fight for Nigeria’s freedom.  Let’s fight for this freedom through hard work, responsible citizenship and never keeping quiet about the injustices in our society. Let’s fight for the freedom by holding public servants and politicians to account on social media, newspapers and most importantly with our votes.

I am optimistic that Nigeria’s day will come. PostcardfromLagos

The Whys of Nigeria - Part 3

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I have been chronicling some of the things that make us peculiar under the title 'The Whys Of Nigeria' for many months. Some of these things are in themselves peculiar and can vary from cultural stuff to the plainly ridiculous. This post is the third in the series. Happy reading.

11. Why are old people suspected of witchcraft - Don't get old in Nigeria as you may be suspected to be a witch. I used to think that this was a small town syndrome. I think not anymore. As most prayer merchants will confirm, your old parents are usually suspect No 1 and 2 if you have as much a problem as a cut finger.

It's disconcerting to think innocent people are tainted with this funny belief only because of their age or perhaps because of the way they look.  You have been warned, move out of Nigeria when you are 60.

12. Why do we go about with inhalers in the nostril - Like many things in Nigeria, those who perpetrate this will probably have a ready-made defence. Perhaps because they have a blocked nose; or because they are suffering from cold or catarrh. Whatever the ailment, it's tacky to leave an inhaler in the nostril in the presence of other people.

By the way, it's only one make of inhaler that is usually the victim – ‘Vicks’.

13. Why the belief that twin 2 is older than twin 1 - In the first instance, most twins are content with the fact that they share the womb and are born minutes or hours apart. Not for the Yorubas of Nigeria who are obsessed with age and deference. With them, one twin must be older and accorded the respect it deserves. You guessed right! They believe it's twin 2. Yes, the one born after twin1. Their argument - twin 2 apparently asked twin 1 to go and find out about the world so that it (twin 2) could make a decision to come out from the womb or not. This in their opinion made him older. What ridiculous hair-splitting! Even in the off chance that this was true, since when has someone who got to a place after another person become first in order of priority.  You tell me.

14. Why do we step on the accelerator when a driver indicates to change lanes - Probably because we have to fight for everything in Nigeria. You have to strive for electricity, water, food, to get to work, to relate with colleagues and customers. If you don't, you may be cheated. That's probably the perception that informs stepping on the accelerator when someone indicates to move into your lane. The thought is that this other driver is going to take my place, so he must be restrained at all cost.

Given that most people spend hours on the road as a result of poor infrastructure, another reason may well be that giving way to another car is added time on the road.

Fully aware of this situation, drivers in Nigeria no longer bother to indicate when changing lanes; they just go for it.

15. Why bastardise the acronym JP - In England and I suppose long ago in Nigeria, JP stands for Justice of the Peace to show that those who have it after their names are magistrates.

Recently in Nigeria however, Christian visitors to Jerusalem have hijacked the acronym. Apparently, it now stands for Jerusalem Pilgrim. I suppose, not wanting to be outdone by Muslims who adopt Alhaji after visiting Mecca, Christians who have been to Jerusalem now have something after their names too. Can you imagine Jesus doing this?

Lest I forget, I know someone who having visited Jerusalem four times has after his name JP, JP, JP, JP.  PostcardfromLagos

Social Classification - Nigeria vs England

The BBC recently carried out a poll on the British social class. The survey identified seven social classes ranging from ‘elite’ at the top of the pie, to ‘precariat’ at the bottom. The survey, now posted online had 160,000 participants at the time the results were released. To indulge my curiosity, not unlike many of the participants, I entered some information on the platform to find out which class I belong.  I was surprised at the outcome.

Why am I interested in this experiment? It’s very simple. I had a discussion recently about how people are routinely put in their place in Nigeria, whether it is necessary or not. Work colleagues will decide how to relate to you based on their personal appraisal of your class. The measurement includes the way you dress, the type of car you drive, where you live, how you talk and where your children go to school etc. Our social profiling even dictates where you go to church and where you are seated in the pew. A friend told of a particular lady at his work who never gave him as much as a glance each time he greeted her. One day, they met at the car park and when she realised he drives an SUV, she had a paradigm shift and changed her behaviour towards him.

What’s my point with this discourse. As much as the United Kingdom appears to be infatuated with social classification, the system is not played in your face.  You would have to put on special glasses and search hard to notice it. Many upper class people who attended the very posh schools and are armed with double barrelled names are almost embarrassed by their privileges, preferring to keep things on the down low. In Nigeria however, social classification plays out in every day life. This is rather interesting given that unlike England, Nigeria does not appear to have a unified institutionalised social class system.

Ironically, what describes Nigeria class system really well is ‘The Frost Report’ sketch of the mid 60s that poked fun at the British class system. It featured average height Ronnie Barker saying to a much taller John Cleese "I look up to him because he is upper class". To shorter Ronnie Corbett, he said: "But I look down on him, because he is lower-class. I am middle-class."

I suppose many Nigerians probably like the concept of the class system. This affection is based on the hope that they too will eventually make it to the upper class. It becomes a problem however, when it is flaunted at you daily. "Am I in your class?" "Do you know who I am?" "Who do you think you are?" "I’m not your mate" are some of the many phrases we employ to oil the class system in our country.

Back to England, a common expression within the Nigerian community is that ‘London is a leveller.' In other words, London allows people, who will otherwise not smell your taillight in Nigeria, to not only ride with you but also have the audacity to ask you out, and worse, marry you.  

So which country is more class conscious?  You may read between the lines! PostcardfromLagos

Ise logun ise – The antidote to poverty is hard work

This Yoruba poem was one of many I enjoyed as a young boy in primary school. It’s probably one of my best poems ever. 

I can remember reciting it, usually in the afternoons, with my classmates in my second or third year of elementary school. It was meant to teach children the importance of hard work. I suppose it teaches adults as well the value of dignity in labour

It also teaches self-reliance and the futility of depending on others - parents, family or friends.

It teaches that the antidote to poverty is hard work.

It encourages readers to redeem the time and not waste their ‘early years’ – a period the Yorubas refer to as ‘the morning’.

The poem is also unequivocal about the consequence of a lackadaisical approach to life.

For me, it is a call to do something with your life. It is about consistency in doing whatsoever you do without looking back. It's about making hay while the sun shines. It is recognising that though you may start small, there is a brighter future ahead. And even when the odds are stacked against you, your experience and journey are priceless. 

So if you are conscientious with your work, keep it up, the dividends will come. If you are not, take heed to the poem and focus.

I came across an attempt to translate it into English recently. It occurred to me that it should be published for everyone to read not only for its rich content but also because it shows the whole world the depth of the values we have so easily lost.  Values we will hopefully retrieve.

I have added some of my own translation where necessary to make the poem more relevant

Enjoy.

"Ise logun ise - The antidote to poverty is hard work 

Mura si se re, ore mi 
So work hard, dear friend

Ise la fi ndeni giga 
Success only comes through hard work

Bi a ko ba reni fehin ti 
When there is no one to rely on

Bi ole la a ri 
It’s like we are lazy

Bi a ko ba reni gbekele, 
When there is no one to trust

A te ra mo se ni. 
We focus on our work

Iya re le lowo lowo 
Your mum may be rich

Baba re le lesin lekan 
Your dad may own a thousand and one horses

Ti o ba gbojule won 
If you rely on their wealth

O te tan ni mo so fun o 
You are sinking fast to your shame.

Ohun ti a ko ba jiya fun

Whatever we do not work for

Se kii le tojo

Will not last

Ohun ti a ba fara sise fun

It is what we strive for

Ni npe lowo eni

That endures


Apa lara igupa ni ye kan 
Your arms and elbows are your instruments of work


B'aiye ba fe o loni 
If you are feted by society today

Ti o ba lowo lowo, won a tun fe o lola 
If you are still rich, they will fete you tomorrow as well.

Abi ko wa nipo atata 
When you hold an esteemed position

Aiye a ye o si terin terin 
You will be regarded with great joy

Je ki o deni ti nrago 
Just wait and become a pauper

Ko ri bi aiye ti nyin mu si o 
And see how you will be treated with disdain

Eko si tun seni doga

Education can take you to the top

Mura ki o ko dara-dara

So study hard 


Iya mbe fomo ti ko gbon

The unwise will surely regret their folly

Ekun mbe fomo ti o nsa kiri 
The outcome for lack of planning is tears

Mafowuro sere ore mi 
Don’t waste your early years

Mura sise ojo nlo. 
Make hay while the sun shines."

My sincere hope is that you will find a use for this poem. PostcardfromLagos

The Whys of Nigeria - Part 2

In the 17 February 2010 edition of this blog, I published Part 1 of 'The Whys of Nigeria', here is Part 2: 

7. Why do most organisations charge a fee for application forms – About two years ago, I received a telephone call regarding a course we were about to run, the enquirer wanted to find out the cost of the application form as he already knew the cost of the programme. I told him the forms were free. I later realised that most people charge for application forms – government agencies, the army, private companies. It appears that this is considered a means of making a tidy sum. 

The one that irked me was a recent drive by the Imo State Government to employ 10,000 of its citizens in the Civil Service. This was heavily publicised – typically with a picture of the then Governor, Ikedi Ohakim – as a strategy of the government to reduce unemployment. The only catch is that each ‘unemployed’ applicant must pay 2000 Naira to obtain the form. Apart from the evil of charging poor unemployed people; like everything in Nigeria, this exercise will probably be 20 times oversubscribed.  You do the maths!

8. Why do educated, high-powered adults celebrate birthdays as if they are children – I initially thought that this was an issue common to a few people until I realised that it was a pandemic. Open a newspaper any day, you will probably see staring at you a purposely issued photograph of a politician, industrialist, militant, civil servant, or housewife hosting a week-long bash to celebrate their 54^th, 62^nd or 44^th birthday. What is more hilarious is that the congratulatory adverts are usually placed by ‘committee of friends’, spouse, work subordinates and sometimes banks – who just happen to use the same choice of words - which gets you thinking…. My hypothesis is that the person celebrating sometimes pay for some of these adverts.

9. Why do we think we must throw obscenely large parties – I have no qualms with the way ‘moneyed’ people choose to spend their money including throwing large parties. What I don’t understand is why a person struggling to make ends meet is expected or believes he should put up a wedding, christening or burial event similar to what a wealthy person does.

10. Why aso-ebi for non-family members - Aso-ebi literally means ‘family uniform.’  In the past, only family members wear aso-ebi at funerals, it somehow out-flowed into weddings and now it is worn at birthdays and any other commemorations. No week goes by without an invitation to buy aso-ebi with someone you have no family ties. What is more, the celebrant charges a premium fee on top of the purchase price, and for the privilege, you are rewarded with pitiful, Chinese-made freebies that will almost certainly clog your kitchen, bathroom or the bin. PostcardfromLagos

Chin-Chin, Puff-Puff, Kuli-Kuli and Double-Double – The Mystery of Repetition

An English friend asked me in summer 2010, why do Nigerians say things twice? She proceeded to give the following examples: do-do, chin-chin, puff-puff. Her husband who was listening joined in and mentioned moin-moin. This got me thinking and I decided to do a research into this phenomenon.  Here are my findings:

Do-do – fried plantain

Chin-chin – fried dough chips

Puff-puff – round fried dough

Kuli-kuli – fried peanut ball

Dun-dun – fried yam chips

Wole-wole – sanitary inspectors

Paja-paja – pins and needles

Maja-maja – highway traffic inspectors

Die-die – little by little

Pata-pata – completely

Laba-laba – butterfly

Pari-pari – the end

Seke-seke - chains

Lopo-lopo – very much

Nla-nla – massive

Kia-kia – quickly

Jedi-jedi – pile

Dogba-dogba – equally

Lai-lai – never

Mago-mago - deception

Gbonmo-gbonmo – kidnappers

Tun-tun – new

Tu-tu – cold

Te-te  - quick

Ke-ke – bicycle

Re-re – good

Some are English words which we have domesticated and which may have slightly different meanings such as:

Chop-chop - food or eating

Suffer-suffer - sufferhead

Quick-quick - quickly

Fast-fast - quickly

Now-now – hurry up

Begi-begi - scrounger

Cry-cry – cry baby

Yahoo-yahoo - fraudster

Hurry-hurry - quickly

Holy-holy – self righteous

Sharp-sharp – smart alec

Follow-follow – indecisive

Why we repeat words is beyond me. Has this got to do with our fast pace approach to life? Is it to buttress what we say? Is it to exert fear? Or is it just a Yoruba thing?

Now to my English friend, Helen who brought this to my attention in the first place, English people do have theirs too. What about Pa-pa and Paw-paw.

Finally, one of the most popular songs in Nigeria has the following lyrics:

Eh eh eh, eh, my God is good o

My God is good o, my God is good o

Everything na double, double

Na double, double

Whilst I do not want to visit the meaning and depth of the song for now, I cannot but notice an extra  double in the chorus. Double explains itself, there isn't  a need to say double-double. However, this is Nigeria, double has to be repeated. PostcardfromLagos

Photo from Avartsy Cooking