'Medicare' and a Tribute to Baba Akeem

Today is the beginning of a three-day Bank holiday in Nigeria. What is on my mind is not the privilege of having a rare three-day Bank holiday at the beginning of the week (in reality a 5-day break when you include the preceding Saturday and Sunday). What’s on my mind is the death last Tuesday week of ‘Baba Akeem’, real name Mohammed.

Baba Akeem was a guard in the estate where we live in Lagos. He was from the Northern State of Borno and had also worked in the house we live before we moved in. His third child was born earlier this year. Unlike many other guards in the area, he communicated very well in English and was a likeable person – attributes of which became known to me in the last six to eight weeks before his death.

I noticed about two months ago that he looked different from his normal self, when I mentioned to my wife, she felt that he must have put on some weight around his face. A few days later, I sighted him again and questioned him about the puffiness of his face, he then informed me that he had been sick ever since he came back from a recent visit to his home town and he was unsure of what he ate or drank that made this happen. He also had sores all over his body. I suggested to him to visit the General Hospital and to let me know of the outcome.

When he came back to see me a few days later, he lamented that after waiting for a whole day, he was only given a consultation card with the instruction to come back on the 20th August. He went for the new appointment and on his return, he informed me that the hospital carried out a series of tests and eventually told him to go home and seek ‘native’ medical attention.

At this juncture, I was a little bit confused, how could a hospital send a patient back home to seek native intervention? He was asked to buy some drugs as well. Needless to say that at this time, he was unable to work and take care of his wife and three children. Unfortunately, there is no social security system, no help whatsoever from the State, our much vaunted economic growth as a nation does not hold any water for the likes of Baba Akeem.

Three Saturdays ago, he came to say hello which meant his money had finished. We had a good chat, he also said his brother was going to take him to a military hospital in Yaba the following Monday. Things were looking up for him. A week later, on Monday 15th September, his wife came to see me for the first time and said her husband was very poorly and he had decided to go home to Maiduguri the following day. She wanted assistance with the transport fare. She also showed the medical notes from the Yaba hospital visit. I could make out ‘RVD’ from the notes which I googled. Unable to make a head or tail of this, I decided to make enquiries from medical practitioners the following day. When my wife came home that evening, I informed her about the visit from Baba Akeem’s wife and his intention to go back home. The following day, as soon as we got up, my wife said we must go and look for where Baba Akeem lives to stop him from going home, as she felt that going to Maiduguri will almost certainly result in his death.

We got in the car and took descriptions from people around. When we got to where he lives with his family in an uncompleted building, we found a group of people, probably about twenty in front of the house opposite. No clue. I noticed his first son who had come with his mother to see me the previous day, I asked him for his father and where they lived, he replied ‘my daddy don die’ meaning my dad is dead. We were led to a corner of a room in the uncompleted house where his wife was secluded from everyone else. Apparently, Baba Akeem died at 4.00am that morning and had just been taking away for burial. He was 36.

Anger and despair were the words that could express how I felt. I was devastated. I felt I had not helped enough, I felt the whole nation had failed him too. I also felt rather helpless and hoped that I would not become immune from the sufferings of people. I was hoping that Baba Akeem would recover, I never knew he would die so soon. With the benefit of hindsight, I now realise I was naïve, the puffiness and the body sores pointed at something serious all along.

Baba Akeem could not access medical care because he did not have the money, period. He probably knew he would die. Like many sick and poor Nigerians, he probably was waiting to die.

The lesson I learnt is to act faster in cases like this. I have therefore decided, in conjunction with others, to launch ‘Medicare’. Medicare will do the following:

1. We will provide financial assistance towards medical care for those who are sick and unable to access medical care.
2. We will work with doctors and hospitals who want to help
3. We will accept financial support from those who wish to give
4. We will also have representatives and agencies in North America, Europe and in Nigeria,
5. We will use 100% of money donated for medical care.
6. We will also be transparent and publish the names of recipients and expenses on a regular basis

If you want to be involved in any way or give to this cause, please register your interest by contacting me or send an email to medicare@postcardfromlagos.com

A follow-up report shall be published in due course including the names and contact details of representatives across the world. Thank you.

The 7 Wonders of Nigeria - Part 1 - Okada

Today, I am going to start a new series on what in my opinion constitutes ‘the 7 wonders of Nigeria’. I have no doubt that my list will differ from yours; what will be interesting is to find out what you consider as the 7 wonders of Nigeria and why. Please use the comments link on this blog to air your opinion and enrich the discussion. Happy reading!

Okada - the motorcyle taxi
Okada is a creation of necessity. Unlike the Chinese that have established the motorcyle as a means of transportation, Nigeria is not as populous to adopt this as a permanent form of transportation. We used to travel on taxis and buses in the major cities. We would easily prefer these means of travel; however, Okada surreptitiously crept into the Nigerian vocabulary and also into our carriage system as the economy bit harder in the 90s. The name Okada was adopted from a small town in Edo State. Now almost everywhere in Nigeria, Okada is the fastest means of transport and a very big headache for that matter for motorists and other road users.

They meander dangerously through traffic, they don’t obey any traffic regulations and anyone can put a bike on the road, with no training or registration required. They wear no helmets and offer their passengers none. Okada drivers are either deliberately inviting motorists to hit them and their passengers (they often carry two or more people) or they believe they are invincible. Sadly, it is said that a wing of the orthopaedic hospital in Lagos is set aside for victims of Okada accidents.

Although many would not admit to it, a good number of Nigerians, rich and poor would have had to take an Okada at a desperate moment for only Okadas can whiz through the depressing and parking-lot traffic of Lagos to deliver you to the multi-billion Naira corporate deal less than three miles away. An American Christian leader who is also the Editor of 'Charisma Magazine' wrote an insightful piece in 2007 on how he had to abandon his comfortable car to ride on the back of Okada to make a preaching engagement in Lagos.

Okada has become a legacy of our economic and political failures. The argument for Okada by its proponents is that it provides a quick and effective means of transportation for a vast majority of our people, and employment for those who might otherwise go into the underworld. However, the question is ‘do we as a nation really want an Okada economy’?

For its pervasiveness as a form of transport all over the country, Okada, the motorbike taxi is a wonder of Nigeria.

Moving to Nigeria - What to know and do (Part 4)

Where to shop
Although there are many small shops around, the best place to get all of your shopping in one go is at ‘Shoprite’ supermarket in Lekki. What works to Shoprite's favour includes relatively cheaper prices, adequate parking and a wider choice of stock. Besides, ‘the Palms’ where shoprite is located also houses other shops and restaurants. Be prepared however for traffic as this part of Lagos is generally congested.

Staffing
Staffing is always a major issue for many people. Come to think of it, this is not limited to Nigeria alone. For domestic staff, go by recommendation. Labour is quite cheap, but you are expected to give regular tips to your staff. It is to your advantage to treat your staff with dignity and respect. It is also the right thing to do no matter what you may see people do around you.

You may also experience communication issues with staff. The most confusing one is people saying 'yes' to a question that demands a negative answer. You will experience this with many people, so double check to ensure you and the person with whom you are communicating are singing from the same hymn sheet.

Handling Police Officers

It is no secret that a major shaking and reform of the Nigerian Police Force is needed. Whilst we hope and await this, you need wisdom to handle them. The following will help:

- Ensure your vehicle particulars are intact.
- Speak to them with respect; this will make life easier for you.
- Don't condescend or attempt to speak 'big grammar'.
- Never follow them to the station.
- You need to obtain a police permit to have your car windows darkened.
- You also need to carry a fire extinguisher and the triangular caution sign

- Have photocopies of your driving licence, insurance and vehicle papers with you.

Treat everyone with respect
In Nigeria, do not underestimate anyone. The office help or messenger is as important as the big boss. The secretary is probably much more important than the boss. If you don't treat them well, you may not get to see the boss.

Carry money on you
Nigeria is a cash society, so you always need to carry money on you. As they say, you may need to bail out yourself if you collide with an egg hawker. Seriously, you may need to bail out yourself from potentially embarrassing situations like if your tank runs low.

You also need money to give to gate-men, security guards in your estate etc on a regular basis. Apart from making a difference to their lives, the 200 or 500 Naira you give buys you considerable goodwill and is expected

Family and People issues
You will have to deal aplenty with issues relating to family and friends. Some arguments will be baseless and people may pick up quarrels with you without a just cause. The wisdom is to learn to ignore a lot of things and not get offended. Don't join issues with family or friends too often even on matters of principle or when you feel you are right. You will only succeed in acquiring enemies as your point of view in all probability will not be understood. Learn to ignore a lot of things, most of the time, they mean no harm.

Keep your feet firmly on the ground
Nigeria has a way of levitating people beyond their own personal reach to the extent that you will almost be doing a catch-up with yourself. When you have people doing for you chores you normally do by yourself (labour is cheap), it is not impossible to begin to misbehave. Sometimes, it is trying to be who you aren't in order to keep up with the 'joneses' (or shall we say keeping up with the 'Ades'). You will need to keep yourself under check so that your head does not swell. Keep it real, keep it simple, treat everyone with respect, keep your feet FIRMLY and DELIBERATELY on the ground.

Moving to Nigeria - What to know and do Part 3

In the last three months, we have looked at two editions of the topic - 'Moving to Nigeria, what to know and do' This post is a continuation.

The beauty of Nigeria is indescribable. You wake up to the beautiful chorus of cocks crowing at dawn. Sometimes it's a few birds singing their own version of Handel's Messiah. When it rains, the smell of the freshness of the earth is both breathtaking and breathgiving. If it rains at night, the beating of the raindrops against the earth, roof and concrete creates a spatter, splatter, splash drumming melody that will lull the greatest insomniac to sleep.

There is also a realness to the green of the dense bushes and the richness of the red earth where almost anything would grow.

In Nigeria, chicken tastes like chicken, and you can smell the delightful, mouth-watering aroma of its preparation a mile away. Although the quest for high yielding crops is beginning to eat into agriculture, most things are still organic and fresh without costing an arm and a leg as they do in the West. Before I bore you with my culinary experience, the following are further things to know if you are planning to move to Nigeria:

13. Where to Bank
Zenith, First, Access, Skye, Intercontinental, FCMB, PHB, Diamond, UBA, GTB are all very good Banks and have a wide nationwide network. Since the recapitalisation exercise in 2006, there are now 25 Banks (24 after the merger of IBTC/Stanbic). The days of the wonder Banks are long gone and your money is probably much more secure in a Nigerian Bank than in British Banks where I have repeatedly suffered from identity theft.

Nigerian Banks do charge for current accounts. So ask for an account that is C.O.T. free. Also consider the branch coverage across the country before deciding on a Bank.

14. Don't just eat anywhere
Some returnees have the habit of eating anything they see, everywhere they go. A bit of caution here. Except you have taken typhoid injection, and very sure that your stomach is not fragile, do not venture to Mama Sikira's buka to wolf down 'amala' and 'gbegiri' as you used to do before the Second World War. Having been away for some time, you may not have the same level of defences as you had then and it does take time to build this up.

Not scaremongering, same goes for the roasted 'agbado' and 'boli' on the street. People have come down with sicknesses because of them. Haven't you noticed that buyers touch all the bolis, size them all up before picking the lucky one to buy?

Be careful also with ‘suya’ or eating in public generally. Apart from the fact that your stomach needs time to adjust to a major change of diet, there is a serious possibility of food poisoning and the risk of typhoid. Ensure your suya is further roasted once you make a choice and only go to recommended ‘suya’ points.

15. Never drink 'pure water'
'Pure water' is the name for water sold in small plastic bags available everywhere. Some of the mainstream bottled water are even rumoured to be adulterated. I recommend 'Nestle' water followed by 'Eva'.

16. Schools for Children
There are a lot of good schools in Nigeria. Many of the private schools follow the British curriculum and a few follow the American system. Many of them also prepare their students for IGCSE

The following are the popular schools around:

- Grange School in GRA Ikeja
- Greensprings in Anthony Village and Lekki
- Chrisland School, Opebi, VGC, idimu
- British International School, Lekki
- Lekki British International, Lekki
- Avi-Cenna - runs the US curriculum, GRA
- Vivian Fowler, Ikeja
- Oxbridge College in GRA Ikeja run 'A' Level programmes

School fees vary but usually around the 1 million Naira mark per year for the very good schools.


17. TV Stations to watch
Beware of 'African Magic TV Channel' (the Channel dedicated to African Movies). Most of their films have a part 2, each running on average for up to 2 hrs. In other words, if you sit down to watch any of the films; you will need to devote a total of four hours, meaning that a sixth of your day is gone. If you do this on a daily basis, by the time you are sixty, 'African Magic' would have eaten up 10 years of your life. Beware!

'AIT' to me appears to be leading the charge in coverage and variety of programmes. Channels TV' Ten O Clock News is useful. 'Minaj' news is also very comprehensive. You probably do need the occasional dose of the local films to unwind, particularly the very good ones.

Foreign TV stations are also widely available on DSTV and lately Hi-TV.

18. Don't forget the poor and the beggars
The reason why this is part of what you need to know is because it is very easy to forget or ignore the poor especially because you get to see far too many of them. The reality is that too many people are hurting in our country and some rely on begging for their daily bread. Some days you can give, some you can't. This is OK. It however takes a conscious effort not to allow your sensitivity to be dulled by the daily familiarity with the poor.

Our people are hurting, so don't just splash puddle on them when you drive. At traffic lights, they will come to your car, militantly stand by your window begging, they will touch your newly buffed car. As irritating as this may be, never be fed up with them. Remember, there is no social security system for the weak, the old or infirm. They may even throw away the money you give if they judge it to be too small as it happened to me when I inadvertently gave a beggar 5 Naira.

You may think beggars are a nuisance. Whatever you may feel about this issue, begging is the only means of livelihood for some people. Postcardfromlagos

Watch out for Part 4

New features and Rejoinder on 'the Accident Incident'

Thank you for your continued interest in Postcard from Lagos. I will like to thank those who have left comments on the website and the many that send their comments directly to our email address. Please do note that your thoughts count.

Postcard from Lagos has generated nearly 10,000 hits since inception. One of our posts ‘Moving to Nigeria, what to know and do Part 1’ was published on Nigeria Village Square in April becoming the second most popular article on the site having been read by nearly 2000 people before the end of that month.

As part of the strategy to move forward, we have added new features some of which are shown below:

1. Email Subscription
You can now subscribe to Postcard from Lagos by email. What this means is that you will automatically receive an email version whenever a new post is published. You will also never miss any edition of Postcard from Lagos unless you unsubscribe. It will also imply we don’t have to compile and send out emails every time a post is published some of which may be lost as spam. I encourage you to subscribe.

2. Ditch the .blogspot appendage
You can now access Postcard from Lagos without the .blogspot appendage. From now on, log on to www.postcardfromlagos.com

3. Labels
To see the title of previous posts, check under ‘labels’ which is to the right of the blog.

4. Vote
We have also introduced a poll system to the site. You can vote on any of our two current polls:

Which is the most important factor in deciding to move to Nigeria?
Would you consider a move to Nigeria?

One poll is at the right-hand side of the blog and the other is at the bottom. Please vote even if you already live in Nigeria.

5. Your thoughts count
Your thoughts do matter to us, please keep them coming as they have helped to shape the direction of the blog. Even if it’s one line, it usually is terribly appreciated. You can also comment on past posts. All you need to do is click on the comments text at the end of each post.

6. Rejoinder to the Accident Incident
The ‘Accident Incident’ posts generated a good number of comments, on the site, by email and face to face. It has proven to be the most emotional publication yet. I am hoping to bring something positive out of this and will appreciate your ideas. Some people have volunteered their services for some form of citizens’ project to tackle motor accident problems. We need more ideas on how to make this work.

At the moment, the initial thoughts I have is to develop a ‘good driving website’ in conjunction with EtiquetteBank.com. This site will become a platform for all other campaign ideas. If you want to be part of this, please live a comment below this post or directly to thedrivingproject@postcardfromlagos.com with the type of expertise you can bring.

If you have not read 'The Accident Incident', please scroll down the site and you will find it there. You may email the post to your friends for their ideas and suggestions too.

7. Sharing the blog
We need foot soldiers to help publicise the blog to friends and families. You can do this by clicking on the envelope icon at the end of each post. This will take you to a new page where you can enter your friend’s email. You can send to 10 friends at a time by separating their emails with a comma and space.

Part 3 of 'Moving to Nigeria - What to know and do' will be published soon. PostcardfromLagos

Moving to Nigeria - What to know and do (Part 2)

In the last edition, I shared my experience on 'Moving to Nigeria - what to know and do'. The post is to give a factual view of my experience so far with respect to returning to settle in Nigeria. The strategy behind this post is to assist those who are planning to move to Nigeria and do not know where to start.

There are many stories around about the futility of trying to move and the impossibility of living in the country. Of course there are challenges; probably at every corner in Nigeria. The beauty however is that you do feel some sense of achievement for each hurdle you overcome.

Some have taken the view that moving to Nigeria is for those who have acquired a lot of money from abroad and can afford to splash out. Whilst this may be true for some people, I know and have met an increasing number of people who applied for and got a job in Nigeria from their bases in Europe and in North America. Some were headhunted and provided with the means to settle in Nigeria by their new employer

At a job fair organised by Jobs in Nigeria Exhibition (www. jinexpo.com) which I was invited to attend in England less than three weeks ago, nearly all the people present were under 23. Some of them have just graduated and a good number are graduating in June 2008. These are hardly people who have acquired wealth abroad. The gist here is that there are different experiences and routes to moving back home, this series is to assist with your settling experience whichever you take.

In this edition, I have identified some other things to know and do if you fancy moving to Nigeria. Please keep your comments coming and share your experiences too. Thank you.

8. Containing Malaria - The threat of malaria is a clear and present danger. This however can be contained by adopting some basic steps. Because malaria is transferred by mosquitoes, the challenge is to reduce your exposure.

• The most important is to get mosquito nets. This will ensure no mosquito can feast on you at your most vulnerable state. Buy ‘impregnated nets’ which have been treated with insecticides and therefore serve a dual function of not only protecting you but also allegedly kills mosquitoes on impact. Travelpharm.com sells double nets for £29.99
• Keep a bottle of insect repellant lotion or spray in hand especially when outdoors and apply to exposed part of your body every few hours. The non-sticky lotion in my opinion is better than the spray.
• Fumigate your home at least once a quarter. Include the surroundings and drains. This is an effective means of containing mosquitoes and other 'stake-holding pretenders' such as mice and wall geckos (omo onile). From my personal experience, I have found that once this exercise is carried out; there is true relief from mosquitoes for a few months. Ensure that the house is thoroughly flushed and aerated before attempting to sleep in after fumigation.
• Get your windows and the kitchen door netted.
• Always shut the door.
• In the likely event that you develop malaria; contact a doctor quickly, don’t rely on your past knowledge to self-medicate. Only combination drugs can effectively treat today’s new and improved version of malaria.

I have taken the time to write on preventing malaria because of the devastating effect of ignoring this scourge.

9. You need a generator – electricity supply is erratic. Apart from Aso Rock and the Governors’ mansions, practically everyone else needs a generator to augment the national grid. Until recently, I did not know that air conditioners are expressed in horse power and generators in KVA. Now I feel confident enough to give advice on this.

• A simple 5 or 6 KVA petrol generator will carry your fridge, freezer, lights and a 1.5 horsepower air-conditioner. If you switch on any of the following - iron, water heater, electric cooker, microwave or kettle in addition, the generator will almost certainly rebel.
• Petrol generators have a scattered annoying noise.
• To be able to carry all your household appliances including up to 7 air conditioners, iron, microwave, water heater at the same time, you will need at least a 27KVA diesel generator.
• 27KVA sound proof generators retail for between 1.5 to 2 million Naira. 'Cummins', 'CAT' and 'Perkins' brand are well regarded although you will need to check for fakes.
• If you can, get a sound proof generator, your quality of life will be hugely improved.
• The more appliances you have on, the faster the fuel consumption, so switch off any air conditioner or appliances not in use.

I am planning to buy an ‘Inverter’ which according to a friend can equally do the job without the noise and the fuel cost, howbeit, may not power air conditioners.

10. Internet Access – Most of the major telecoms operators also offer Internet services. Although most claim they offer broadband services, I have however not found any that gives anywhere near the speed of what obtains in Europe and North America.

Internet Service is horrendously expensive. A 24hour, 300kbs EVDO ‘broadband’ service averages 15,000 Naira (£65 / $130) per month. Visafone charges 15,000 Naira for their Gold Service whilst Starcomms EVDO card is 15,595 Naira.

11. Where to live - This is a matter of choice. Many returnees however prefer housing estates because of security reasons. The most popular on the Mainland are Ogudu GRA, Magodo GRA, Omole Phase 1 and 2 and Ikeja GRA.

On the Island, the desirable areas are Ikoyi, Victoria Island, Lekki Phase 1, Femi Okunu, Northern Foreshore, Goshen Estate, and Victoria Garden City (VGC). Apart from Ikoyi and Victoria Island, the rest of these Island estates are on the Lekki-Epe Expressway.

It appears that many returnees prefer to live on the Island because the shops, the good restaurants, and the cinemas are there. The Lekki axis is also geographically nearer to Victoria Island which has metamorphosed from a purely residential precinct to the Wall Street of Nigeria.
The downside to the Lekki axis is the very bad traffic. The reason being that the route is served by only one major road to which all of the estates along the route empty its people morning, noon and night. So whilst Lekki is nearer to the business district of VI, it often take hours to travel to and from work.

The minimum rent for a four bedroom house in Magodo GRA, Omole Phase 1 and 2, Ogudu GRA, Femi Okunu and Nothern Foreshore is 1.2 million Naira per year. Lekki Phase 1 and Goshen Estate are in the reange of 2.5 million per year. Ikeja GRA, Victoria Island will hover around the 4 million Naira mark. Ikoyi and VGC may well be around 5-6 million Naira per year. Standard deposit is 2 years plus 10% for other costs.

There are probably other good locations scattered around the city which may be better than those described, PostCardfromLagos will welcome your suggestions and comments.


12. Newspapers
The most popular dailies are ‘Guardian’, ‘Punch’, and ‘This Day.’ This Day’ is particularly popular on Sundays because of its colourful ‘Style magazine. Simon Kolawole’s articles on the back page of Sunday’s ‘This Day’ are passionate and relevant.

‘The Punch’ claims to be the most widely read Nigerian newspapers and at 100 Naira is cheaper than ‘This Day’ and ‘The Guardian’.

‘The Guardian’ has good editorials and is neatly laid out.

Watch out for Part 3 – coming soon PostcardfromLagos

Moving to Nigeria? What to know and do (Part 1)

Returning to settle in Nigeria is a brave decision. Once it has been made, there are a few things to put in place to make your homecoming experience a successful one.

1. First, you have to be determined with a capital 'D' for your plan to happen as many homecoming aspirants are simply that - 'homecoming aspirants'. Many change their minds even before embarking on the journey. Some came and changed their minds because of the heat, traffic, electricity problems, or just because of their inability to cope with the ways of the people. So you just have to be determined for your plan not to be short-circuited.

2. There is a good argument for testing the waters for a period of time to avoid the problem enunciated above. Visiting home once or twice a year before taking the plunge will prepare you for the culture shock and all other shocks.

3. Visiting on holiday is a different ball game from settling in Nigeria. So prepare! prepare! and prepare! Don't assume that things are as easy as they look. In any case, wherever your holiday destination may be, visiting a place is different from living in a place.

4. You have to give serious thought to what to do business wise. Don't be fooled, Nigeria is becoming sophisticated daily and Nigerians are not dazzled by anything just because it comes from the West. Having said that, there are huge potentials practically in every aspect of the nation given that we are a developing country. These include property development, civil-structural engineering, medicine, human resource, large scale farming, telecommunications, teaching, food technology and of course information technology. Money is not free in Nigeria. Not everything sells. But whatever does will catch like wildfire. However be ready to be one step ahead as anything you do will be quickly copied.

5. Even with a very good business plan, you have to be patient and determined. There are many things that may conspire to stifle your plans. So be patient with the way people do business. You may be kept waiting, be patient. You may encounter missed appointments, be patient. Be patient but determined.

6. You need a good car. Apart from the fact that a car is a practical necessity; in Nigeria, a good car is a business necessity. My mother in law once told me that when your business host decides to see you to the door, it is possible that he wants to have a glimpse of your car. This may sway his decision on whether to do business with you or not.

What I have experienced is that a good car literally opens the gate to company premises and can secure a good car parking space. Even the police put themselves in check when they see a good car.

In the early days, I often went around in hired taxis. I once went for an important meeting at the premises of a large organisation. On that occasion, I hired this very old red golf taxi. The driver lived locally and I use him often. Although he charges an arm and a leg, he was full of humour and has a positive outlook on life.

I arrived for my appointment with less than five minutes to spare but on the other side of the road. I decided to come out of the car and cross the road whilst he navigates the traffic and turn to wait for me. I informed the security guard that the car that brought me was on its way and should be allowed to park, to which he obliged. As I was about to enter the building, I noticed the driver had somehow managed to turn and was approaching the gate, I quickly dashed back to inform the guard. He did a head-to-toe survey of me, looked at the car and politely informed me that they do not allow this type of car in their premises.

7. You need settling mentors. You may need a friend or family mentor to help smoothen your settling in Nigeria. A very good friend provided a vehicle for us when available, shared hers with us, sometimes to her hurt and often drove us home late at night. Their house was a place to chill, eat and plan. We are hugely indebted to her and her family.

We also had other people like my uncle and his wife who generously allowed us the exclusive use of their exquisitely furnished home. We felt we were living in London half the time. And also to a fantastic gentleman who repeatedly gave us work and office premises. These people cushioned the impact of our homecoming experience and we are grateful to them. Got the gist, you need a mentor.

Next edition - where to live, good Internet Service Provider, which newspapers to read and more. Don't miss it. PostCardfromLagos

The Accident Incident

Thursday 7th February, on our way back to Lagos from a meeting with the rather impressive Titi Oseni, Speaker of the Ogun State House of Assembly, we happened on an accident on the Ibadan-Lagos motorway. Traffic had built up on that side of the road, about 15 vehicles had stopped by the site of the accident, and about 50 people were also in attendance, so we drove past. After another 150 metres, I decided we stopped to assist with the rescue work. So we walked back the 150 metres to what can only be expressed as carnage.

A light passenger bus carrying 18 people had collided with a Peugeot 504 Estate, it appeared that some were dead and others had varying degree of injuries - from those in shock to those who were seriously wounded and unconscious including two babies; a four-month and a 10-month old respectively.

In fairness to the people already at the scene, some of them had pulled the accident victims from the wreckage; however, the vast majority were spectating, genuinely sorry for the victim, genuinely helpless but hampering rescue work by their shouting and general rowdiness. I knew time was of the essence if more people were to be saved so with a few other people and Road Safety Officers who had now come to the scene, we started appealing to passing motorists (large trucks really) to stop and get the victims to hospital quickly. Eventually the driver of a gari-carrying truck stopped. About seven victims were quickly loaded to the back of the open truck on top of gari bags. The rest went on the back of the Road Safety pick-up van.

I asked the lead Road Safety Officer which hospital they were being taken, he replied Sagamu. Then he did a double take and said the doctors at the Sagamu hospital were on strike. I suggested we go to Lagos, he replied he didn't know any hospital in Lagos except I lead them. I agreed, though I didn’t know how to get to any hospital in Lagos too. So we ran to our car 150 metres ahead to form a convoy of three vehicles. In the car, my wife and I started to phone our friends to ask for directions to the nearest hospital in Lagos.

Driving at a fairly high speed, we were in Lagos within 20 minutes. We now had to confront the ‘small’ issue of Lagos traffic. We devised a means around this; at traffic lights or any hold-up, the Road Safety vehicle with siren blaring will come to the front and lead us out after which we take the lead again.

We eventually arrived at the Ikeja General Hospital at about 5pm. There was only one doctor on duty at the emergency ward. He was visibly tired too. By this time, we had lost one of the women in the back of the Road Safety vehicle. She was the mother of one of the babies and her husband who was also brought to hospital was slipping in and out of consciousness.

One of the babies was given an oxygen mask because he was not breathing on arrival. By the time we left, we were told he had yanked it off. So he's good. The Doctor suggested we take one lady who was really bad and foaming from her mouth to LUTH, a teaching hospital, I asked for an ambulance and was told to go the next building. There I learnt the lady in charge - a doctor had gone to the ground floor, when I saw her, she said their drivers were on training and that they close at 6pm. When my wife asked her why they close at 6pm, she replied "do you want to kill them". My wife asked her if she had ever heard of a rota system.

She pointed at five or so swanky new ambulances parked in front of the block explaining the great strides they had made, I pointed at the dead woman at the back of the truck saying she should tell her how good her department and the government were. It was getting heated, we made up and I suggested to her that as head of that unit, she has a God-given responsibility to devise a way of making it work.

At the scene, was a member of the Lagos State House of Assembly who must have come to see a patient. We spoke about having more ambulances on the roads particularly the Lagos-Ibadan motorway which is notorious for accidents.

Back to the doctor, he was busy treating those with minor injuries at the back of the truck and insisted we take the unconscious lady to LUTH. A nurse that was passing by said to him as a matter of fact, "why don't you stabilise her first, if not, she will die on the way". He responded angrily "don't teach me my job". I begged him, he relented, we were later told that the lady was stable, and we never had to go to LUTH. There was no way we could have gone anyhow.

The Road Safety Officers were becoming restless, they wanted to deposit the dead woman's body in the mortuary and go back to Abeokuta as it was getting dark. They needed the doctor's certification before they could do so. He was busy, they were restless; another drama ensued, and the doctor walked one of the Road Safety Officers out of the ward.

The Road Safety Officers asked me for money for fuel as they were low and had ventured out of their usual area of operation. I offered to give them 2000 Naira or more for fuel, they replied they only needed 500 Naira. I offered to buy water for them, they politely declined. Off they went on their way, two men and a woman into the night, back to Abeokuta. They were genuine men and woman, I truly respect their gallantry. They are the heroes of Nigeria. I am really proud to know and to work alongside them.

On Monday 18th February 2008 the news filtered in that the Director of Public Relations for the Nigerian Army, Brig. General Solomon Giwa-Amu had died in (you know what) a motor accident along the Abuja-Kaduna motorway. Yet another loss. He was a very fine Officer.

A few lessons
1. In Nigeria, never assume that people at a scene are actually doing anything. Many people are helpless and neither have the means or knowhow for things like this. Majority have simply given up hope.

2. We need people who have had some exposure in the outside world to come back home and help develop the country particularly those with organisational skills.

3. I was assured by the Road Safety Officers and a Police Officer present at the scene, that the widespread belief that you could be in trouble of the police if you stop to help accident victims is not entirely true. I can’t guarantee this assertion, but at the point at which we got involved with the accident victims, our thoughts were focused on helping the victims and not on whether the police will harass us. In the event, we did not have to complete a form or anything.

4. In the event of an accident on the Lagos-Ibadan motorway, the number for the Sagamu Road Safety Corps office as passed to us by one of their officers is 0803 438 8583.

5. There are many heroes in Nigeria - the Road Safety Officers led by Hakeem, the people who got the victims from the wreckage, the doctor who had to cope with 14 wounded victims, the nurses supporting him, the member of the Lagos State House of Assembly (Adekunle Ademoye) who bought diapers with his money for one of the babies. Not to forget the driver of the gari truck who showed a great act of kindness and saved lives.PostCardfromLagos

The Valentine Avalanche

Valentine’s Day is celebrated with a difference in Nigeria. Everyone celebrates it as if it’s Christmas. There is a happy Valentine’s Day wish awaiting you everywhere you go from all and sundry. I even got a happy Valentine’s wish from my broker and his sidekick. Explaining its importance, he told me of a friend who is closing early to celebrate Valentine with 'his children’. To my shock and horror, I also received a happy Valentine’s text message from a married lady who I know had no sinister motive. I was at a loss on how to respond to what is a perfectly an innocent message from another man’s wife.

I guess coming from England where Valentine's Day is strictly a private affair between couples who are romantically linked, it’s a culture shock to be confronted with this Valentine avalanche.

When I took this up with a cousin, he couldn’t understand why I was stressing. In Lagos, Valentine’s Day is seen as a time to show love to all, not just to someone with whom you are romantically linked. He explained that Churches send Valentine’s wishes to their congregations irrespective of relationship status or age.

Even children were asked to wear red to school today and to exchange gifts. This is another interesting aspect; Lagosians have somehow forced the colour red down the throat of St Valentine. My wife made the mistake of wearing a red blouse today and narrated her experience. People she met felt that she was celebrating Valentine’s Day. She was given a heart shaped pouch with a red ribbon containing sweets at the Corporate Office of Intercontinental Bank. Tied to the ribbon was this note:

‘With love from Intercontinental Bank PLC - Call Centre 01 277 2000’

There you go. If you need some love, contact Intercontinental Bank PLC Nigeria.

Not to be outdone, today’s newspapers were littered with ‘happy valentine’s messages from companies. I can understand that these things – Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and Easter are now commercially driven, however I thought that Valentine’s Day is about romance. I guess with Lagos and Nigeria, I was wrong. As a true Lagosian therefore, this is to wish everybody a very Happy Valentine’s Day. PostCardfromLagos

From London with Identity Theft.

On Friday 28th of December 2007, I was out to buy Granary Bread - a treat for my wife - at our local bakery in Crouch End, London. I presented my card only for it to be rejected by the chip and pin machine. Thinking little of it, I proceeded to the nearest ATM to withdraw cash, the card was retained. I brought out another card issued by a different Bank and this too was retained by the ATM. At this stage, still unsure of what was happening; I spoke to the personal banker at the Bank who casually advised that I could pick up my card on Monday morning.

I decided to walk down to the Bank that issued the other card a few blocks down the road to find out why my card was retained. Whilst the Bank official was checking my account on the screen, I noticed a flurry of activities on the account that same day. About six withdrawals were made from different branches of the Bank that day.

Apparently, my cards were retained because someone had called to report them missing on the 24th of December. I was placed on a call to the Bank's Fraud Unit, after about forty-five minutes of listening to funny music, I eventually got to speak to a human being who then informed me that the department I wanted had closed advising I call back the following day - a Saturday.

I had suffered from Identity theft in 2005 and it took a full year and tons of telephone calls and letters to clear my name. I did not want to go through the same experience in 2007 and certainly I did not want the distraction at this time. Nevertheless, I had to do something so I duly got on the phone by 9.00am on Saturday morning. The lady I spoke to was very abrupt. About thirty minutes into our conversation, she asked me to hold on. Coming back to the phone she told me that she had just been informed that someone posing as me had just tried to withdraw money from one of their branches in North-West London. It was at this juncture that she started to believe and be nice to me. She promised to inform other branches in the area to be vigilant.

I decided to go to my local branch to pick up a statement of the transactions to take with me to report the matter to the police. Whilst there, a call came through to the personal banker that the fraudster had been arrested at the Hendon Branch of the Bank. I was relieved to say the least. The Police came to take a statement from me later that afternoon and informed me that they found on the suspect (that’s being nice to him) a British Driving License in my name and several pieces of information about me including Bank Statements. Apparently he’s got 11 convictions already and 18 pending for the same type of offence. Before anyone jumps into any conclusion, the Police informed me that the suspect is from a country in East Africa that I will not mention.

The suspect was released the following day pending arraignment before a court of law. A few days later, he or his accomplice went to the Bank, this time around with a fake UK passport in my name.

Incidentally, in the same period, I received a call in England from my Relationship Manager in Nigeria to authorize payment of a cheque I had issued to someone before I left Lagos. It appears to me that your money is safer with Nigerian Banks than British Banks.

To avoid identity theft

1. Shred your Bank statements and other important documents, don’t discard in the bin.
2. Be careful with your date of birth, this is often used as the main security question by Banks. With your d.o.b and address, any fraudster is more than halfway into stealing your identity.
3. Check your accounts regularly.
4. Have an alert system set up on your account for any withdrawals if possible
5. Set up a password on your account – this is not always sufficient as fraudsters can get it changed with the Banks if they have other information about you. It happened to me. Don’t be fooled, the system is not as secure as you think.
6. If it ever happens to you, be calm as it is easy to be frustrated. PostCardfromLagos