The 7 Wonders of Nigeria Part 5 - The Nigerian Wedding

I have always loved weddings. As a young boy, I longed to have a big wedding. I can remember the joy of a couple whose wedding reception I stumbled upon at the University of Ibadan. I watched as the groom was celebrated and the bride danced with panache to the beat of the uninvited gangan drummers.

I enjoy the solemn part of weddings more – the joining at the church when vows are taken and the couple pledge their undying love to each other. I like the bit where they invoke the name of God to confirm in the presence of witnesses that only death could do them part. I love the fact that it is only in marriage that the Christian faith expressly allows two people to become inextricable.

As a licensed registrar and pastor, I usually come into my elements when I conduct weddings, I often invite the couple’s parents to pray for their children, I would do everything possible to make it a special day for the couple. Weddings can make me teary-eyed in a joyful way. I would advise the couple to get the photography and video right and of course the groom to arrange a fantastic honeymoon for his bride.

I’m sure my love for weddings have something to do with the choice of the ‘Nigerian Wedding’ as a wonder of Nigeria. Additionally, the choice is influenced by the undeniable fact that Nigerians know how to put on a spectacular wedding celebration. The event usually provides an opportunity for Nigerians to cast all aspersions to the wind and indulge in our greatest and probably only national pastime, the owanbe party celebration.

Nigerians go for broke when it comes to weddings and usually the bride and groom are not the only celebrants. For some parents, it’s an opportunity to be in the limelight, to show off their wealth, who they know and to measure the level of goodwill they enjoy, so they go for broke. The couples themselves are extremely joyful and rightly so, they too go for broke.

The wedding proper is preceded by an engagement party - an understated name for a traditional wedding that is as elaborate as they come – usually on the eve of the wedding proper. The engagement party is an entirely African show with colourful African attires, tradition, songs and sometimes pranks like getting the groom to carry out military exercises or press-ups before he can claim his bride. This is usually at the instigation of the hired representative of the bride’s family (known as alaga ijoko). This 'entity' called alaga ijoko can determine the success of the engagement party. Some really good ones do things in moderation and carry the crowd along. I have also encountered some terribly bad ‘OTT’ ones who have messed up the show.

The Nigerian wedding is not complete without the aso-ebi, sometimes several aso-ebis. Aso-ebi is the uniform for the special day, the parents of the bride will have theirs, so will the groom’s family and sometimes friends of the bride will get theirs separately. The men in the family may wear a different aso-ebi from the women or they may just go for special caps matching the gele (head-tie) for women. The Nigerian wedding is an extremely colourful experience.

Nigerian women usually come up tops at this gathering. They are always pushing the boundary with their innovatively-designed dresses, exquisite jewelry and matching shoes and bag. This is topped with sharply crafted geles that ooze ingenuity and industry.

The Nigerian wedding is a public affair, meaning that literally anyone could attend. No matter how well you plan the day, even with RSVPs, British MI5, EFCC, American FBI and Russian KGB in tow, many of the guests will bring their own uninvited entourage. These guests don’t mind to bring their own food to augment the catering arrangement by the celebrants. Any right thinking planner of a Nigerian wedding will need to cater for at least an extra 200 uninvited guests depending on the social standing of the family.

The wedding day is also an occasion for the chairman of the wedding reception to show off. Many of them go on and on with stories and advice that are stale and cold. My advice to couples is to do without a chairman or read the riot act to them before the day.

The Nigerian wedding is also for area boys who will invade the wedding perimeter in their numbers.

Both the engagement party and the wedding reception are concluded with music and dancing, a live band in the case of high society weddings where the couple, their parents, family members and the musician will be ‘sprayed’ with money. To my knowledge, only the Greek have a similar tradition. I still can’t figure out why we love to publicly ‘spray’ money when you can financially support the celebrants privately

I can’t do justice to the Nigerian wedding without bringing in the Nigerian party. The highlight of any event in Nigeria be it naming ceremony, wedding or a funeral is the party. In reality many guests do not give a toss about the event proper; if you get half of your guests at the main event, you will be lucky. Most people come for the party afterwards where they will eat, socialise and dance.

Not forgetting that the celebrant and friends and families of the celebrants dole out gifts to their guests at the party. These gifts can range from unwanted cups, plastic bowls to clocks, notebooks, mobile phones and sometimes very expensive gift items. The one that really got me laughing and intrigued at the same time was the party where the important guests were said to have each received a party gift of live goat tied to their respective seats.

What a party souvenir. What a people.

I have always wondered why Nigerians love partying with a capital ‘L’ and I have come to realise that without the social parties, dancing, and aso ebis, the suicide level in Nigeria will probably be astronomical. For an average Nigerian, the weddings and the parties acts as stress relieving opportunities from the vagaries of lack of electricity, bad roads, inept politicians, poor sanitation and other challenges that daily confronts our people.

For its colour, its tradition, its stress relieving power and for the way it adds colour to the lives of Nigerians, the Nigerian wedding is a wonder of Nigeria.

A Tale of Two Countries in May; Why I’m happy for David Cameron, Helen Grant, Chuka Umunna, Chi Onwurah and other Lag-Lon stories

I was in England a few days after the May General Election that ushered in the Lib-Con coalition, so I witnessed some of the intrigues surrounding which party will form the government. Who will be the next Prime Minister? How will the Cabinet look? Will it be a coalition of losers? Why can’t Cameron force his way to the Queen and demand he be allowed to form the government? All of these were the questions on peoples’ minds fuelled by the anti-Gordon Brown Tory press. The scenario was stuff that I have read in history books and newspaper articles about Britain except that it was much more interesting witnessing it live on TV, on Radio and on the Internet.

A few days before my trip, Nigeria also saw a change of guard with the inauguration of Goodluck Jonathan as substantive President after the death of Umaru Musa Yar’Adua.

Below are some of my thoughts and highlights of my latest ‘Lag-Lon’ trip. They cover politics, religion and social issues. They may reveal my bias for England and why I am unflinching in the belief that the United Kingdom is probably the most decent country in the world.

1. An image that has repeatedly been on my mind in recent weeks is that of David Cameron and his wife on the steps of 10 Downing Street. The picture shows relief, genuine affection for each other and more importantly it’s a picture that silently cries “we made it at last”. Sky News has been using it as one of its current videos and each time I see it, I feel like tearing up.

2. I was very happy for David Cameron not necessarily because of his politics but because I love to see people achieve their life aims. For him, it was a gilded climb to the top - Eton, Oxford, a stint in the corporate world, MP in 2001, leader of the Conservative Party four years later and now Prime Minister at 43 - all these attest to this remarkable achievement. For me, it is just gratifying to see someone achieve his goal. I admit that Cameron, given his background, may never truly understand life for the man on the street, however, it is not always true that justice for the common man is best achieved by leaders who have tasted poverty, after all Tony Blair, just like David Cameron was a public school boy and Oxford graduate.

3. Talking of Oxford education, it is rather interesting how self-deprecating British politicians and people are, and how on the contrary, Nigerian politicians like to drum up their achievements. British people generally do not always accentuate their personal achievements as we do in Nigeria. For example David Cameron had a First from Oxford. His predecessor; Gordon Brown also had a First (from Edinburgh) plus a PhD. And so do some members of the new and past Cabinets. However, they will rather die than say or admit this in public. It’s almost like they feel ashamed for being brainy. Interestingly, in Nigeria, anyone who has ever attended a course at Harvard proudly parade themselves as ‘Harvard-educated’ and hold alumni meetings even when they’ve only been on a 2-week programme.

4. The civility with which the party leaders handled the rather difficult days between May 7^th and May 13^th showed political and personal maturity, and also a determination to put country first.

5. Although I’m not a Brownite, I feel Gordon Brown was more a conviction politician than any of the other party leaders. I also admire people like Mr Brown who are not taken over by power.

6. I feel it is much easier to plan your political future in England than in Nigeria. David Cameron obviously wanted to be Prime Minister, so much so he was called Prime Minister since his school days. Can the same happen in Nigeria? Well, nothing is impossible. It’s just a little bit more complicated. Many good people who should be in politics cannot see themselves joining any of the corrupt political parties we have. If you can sum up the courage to join a party, you will then be faced with having to grovel before full-time political Godfathers. For example, if it were Nigeria, William Hague will be a Godfather to David Cameron, not serving in his Cabinet. It’s really a challenge. Do I think this will change? Yes, I do.

7. On the bright side for Nigeria, for the very first time, three British-born Nigerians were elected into Parliament. Like London Buses, you wait a long time for one and get three at once. Chi Onwurah, 45 became the MP for Newcastle Central, Chuka Umunna, 31 was elected MP for Streatham and Helen Grant 48 is the new MP for Maidstone and The Weald. I’m happy for them just as I am for Cameron.

8. During this trip, I stayed in the leafy part of Streatham surrounded by two parks and one ‘common’. On one occasion, I went for a walk around the parks with my host. Although it was colder than normal at this time of the year and I was initially reluctant to go, I eventually enjoyed the walk. People jogging, some walking, a pub serving meals, a massive house with a large garden that was left by the owner to the community, a man-made fountain, a deep bath that is no longer in use, cleverly shaped shrubs and beautiful rainbow-coloured flowers, mothers with baby in push chairs, a personal trainer and her client who we spoke to, pupils on their way home from school were all part of the sight and sound of the walk. Although, I lived in England for nearly two decades, I was still intrigued by the order, the determination to make life easier for people, the devotion to duty of the people that keep the park. After a while, I felt lighter, hungry and almost feeling faint, so we walked to the local Sainsbury where I bought a prawn sandwich which I devoured as soon as we left the store.

9. The potholes! Yes, the potholes, I noticed the unusually high number of potholes on London roads in my last trip as well. I’m told this was caused by the ice from the snow of last December to March this year. Na wa o!

10. I had missed our Church in London, so it was nice to be back and to fellowship with them.

11. I joined three American friends and my host for a meal at the Café Rouge restaurant in Dulwich Village on one of the evenings. I settled for Chicken Caesar Salad. I never imagined how massive Dulwich College is with its well-manicured fields, impressive buildings and very rich culture. Again, it is almost impossible to beat the English in maintaining tradition and building things to last.

12. Coming back to Nigeria, it’s interesting how people came out to describe in flowery words the character, the politics, the integrity and adherence to the rule of law of our late President, Umaru Musa Yar’Adua. Two things came to mind:

Firstly, if he was that good, how come the same people blamed Obasanjo for imposing on the country such a very ‘good man’. Shouldn’t we rather have been thanking Obasanjo all along?

Secondly, wasn’t it Yar’Adua that gave us Andoakaa, preserved Maurice Iwu, disgraced and chased away Ribadu whilst protecting Ibori, made Edevbie (Ibori’s corrupt aid) his Private Secretary, drove down EFCC and sat motionless on the country for two and a half years without any education, health or social policy?

And I hold no briefs for Obasanjo who in my opinion squandered a great opportunity to turn the country around but who nevertheless is head, shoulder and torso better than Yar’Adua or any other imbecile that has 'ruled' our country.

Fresh Fish on Eko Bridge

My wife loves fresh food – fresh produce, fresh fish, anything fresh. She particularly likes fresh fish, yet she hardly gets to eat fish because the majority of what you see on the market are frozen fish.

Her love affair with fresh fish is so passionate that a few years ago when we visited Nigeria, we opted to travel to Abuja from Ibadan by road mainly because she had been told that roads in Lokoja were ‘paved’ with assorted fresh fish, and she wanted to sample them. In the event, we neither encountered fresh fish in Lokoja, nor were we able to sample the roasted ones we saw simply because we were still rather smug and couldn’t handle the flies that accompanied them.

So Easter Sunday, April 4, 2010, we left Church refreshed by the benefits of the sacrifice of Jesus - including the hope of eternity, the brilliance of becoming God’s children, and freedom to live life to the full. Afterwards, we made our way to Terra Kulture in Victoria Island to see a show titled ‘Prisoners Chronicle’. Written by Wole Oguntokun, it’s the story of four prisoners, a warder and his wife, and it’s a satire on Nigeria. The actors were very professional and gave an impressive performance although the hall was rather cold from the efforts of four giant air-conditioners bleeding their cool air into the theatre without fear or favour.

Before the show we had a meal at Terra Kulture’s restaurant and I got to speak to a Spanish lady who moved to Nigeria two years ago to sell building tiles. Who says only Nigerians move to Nigeria?

At roughly 5pm, we left Victoria Island via Eko Bridge which in my view is livelier than the long, lonely and boring ‘Third Mainland Bridge’. As we climbed the bridge, we saw a group of men and women displaying all manners of freshly caught fish. We stopped! Some of the fish, still full of life were dancing around the hard tarmac and in the plastic bowls. We bought some Red Snappers. The fishmonger pried open the fish’s heads revealing their red gills - proof that they were freshly caught, proof that we didn't need.

We soon got home, grilled some of the fish grilled and settled to a nice roast-fish dinner with grilled potato and plantain. At last, my wife was able to fulfil her life-long ambition of cooking fresh fish in Lagos. It’s a case of what she was going to ‘Sokoto’ for is in her ‘sokoto’.

Eko Bridge, she will be back. Trust me, she will!

By Order! – suffering from militariatis infection

One of the notices you will definitely come across in Nigeria will say something similar to this:

Do not urinate here. By Order!

Or

Do not park here. By Order

One of the sad relics and certainly a giveaway of our long and unfortunate military-rule past is the tendency to act military by Nigerians. A good example is that no notice is complete without a ‘By Order’ trademark. Nearly all the signs you see even on private properties are marked with those two words. Whose order? You may want to ask.

What is apparent is that living under military rule for a considerable length of time has significantly altered our brains so much so that almost everyone invokes a form of military lingo, and many exhibit military behaviour without giving their actions or words a thought. ‘By Order’ is just one aspect of this militariatis infection. I guess the thinking is that adding ‘By Order’ to any notice will stop a perpetrator from doing No 1 on the nearest wall he sees when he's pressed to go. I’m not sure, it always does.

Wherever you go, in schools, in places of worship and in places of work, people bark out all manners of high-handed warnings and threats. ‘I will deal with you’, ‘I will teach you a lesson’, ‘You will be punished’, are a few of the militarist expressions now rooted in the vocabulary of the average Olu, Chike or Aliyu.

Even, politicians with no military past are not immune to this virus. Rather than say something like this (as it may be said in some other countries)

‘those who commit crime will face the full weight of the law, or face justice’

Our politicians with eyes blazing, face concocted and adopting a thundering voice, for maximum effect, prefer the military lingo:

‘anyone caught will be severely dealt with’.

Although I admire the courage of Dora Akunyili, she however used to irritate me to no end whenever she speaks to the press after the weekly Federal Executive Council meetings in her capacity as ‘Minister of Information’. I’m sure she never realised her presentations were similar in style to that of the head of a military junta imposing a new curfew or announcing the number of people that have just been rounded up for not bowing to the image of the ‘Dear and Revered Leader’.

I must say that I have come to the conclusion that the military has a romantic appeal to Nigerians because of the power they wielded and still wield. I think we like the way a few untrained soldiers forcefully and illegally take over government, keep people under oppression and end up becoming statesmen. It gives the impression that this is an alternative and legitimate way of getting to the top quickly and easily. We think we like their uniform, their 'discipline', their sternness. We think we make this decision independently. In reality, we don’t, we just think we do. It’s the infection.

It’s also the infection that accounts for why it’s impossible for a Nigerian politician to say the name of the President without preceding it with the title ‘Commander in Chief of the Armed Forces’ as if he’s not complete without that title. We like the way soldiers bark out orders so we adopt their style and behave like dictators at home, at work, in the church and in government to the detriment of our family members, employees, congregation and citizens. Who will deliver us from this high fever of militariatis?

Last word - Haven’t you noticed that the ‘Minister of Information’ position is in itself a relic of military rule? It’s a position created to launder the image of illegal governments. We have however imported it into our democracy. Only communist regimes have a similar Ministry. My point exactly!

On this note, please let me have your comments on this article. By Order!

Why do we... - The Whys of Nigeria - Part 1

I was at the airport waiting to pick up friends who were arriving from the United States of America when pictures of people bellowing at their driver came to my mind. I began to imagine myself doing the same. Interestingly the scene had not played out. It was just my mind playing on me. Why? It got me really thinking. I guessed I had seen too many of such scenes acted out in Nigeria that I was becoming an unwitting extra in this tragic but common picture.

I decided to pursue other things that happen in Nigeria – the good, the bad and the ugly to find out why they are so. You may call it The Whys of Nigeria’. Let’s start the journey.

1. Why do people shout at their staff – There are many possibilities why this is so, chief of which is communication problems between employer and employee. An employee may get his wires crossed because of illiteracy or because the employer has not properly communicated what was on his mind. Sometimes the result of poor communication is an expensive mistake on the part of the employee. Given that in Nigeria, employers cannot be wrong, they vent their anger on the poor employee by shouting or sometimes cursing.

Sometimes, certain employers just shout because they could. Or because Nigerians, generally love to shout even when they are not angry. Often it is also because of the way employees behave – their nonchalant attitude to work, wastage and lack of initiative. Whatever the reason may be, it is inhuman to treat another human being to a shouting abuse.

2. Why do we linger at staring at people – You are at a traffic light and another vehicle came up beside you and stopped. Anywhere else in the world, you steal a quick glance almost by reflex and look away immediately. Not so in Nigeria, here, people stare and continue to stare, even when, as they say, the eyes of both of you become four. It is the same scenario if you enter a bank, go into a shop or a reception area, you are automatically feasted upon by the eyes of everyone present. It doesn’t matter whether you are a man or a woman, it is obviously more helpful if you are interesting i.e. you are properly dressed or appear to have money.

Perhaps, Nigerians look and linger because we are naturally very inquisitive people who will not allow anything to pass our notice. So we linger in order to press out the last detail to complete the picture we are forming in our minds about the person. We also do so to appraise, people, what we call size up in Nigeria. I also feel that because of the huge level of poverty, any little thing becomes a revelation, an opportunity to compare, to dream and hope for the same. So a person who turns out in immaculate attire easily becomes an object of veneration and fantasy and we do not mind even if our eyes become four with the person, the feasting must be completed.

3. Why do we starch our clothes so stiffly – I can understand why everyone wants to stand out in a crowd; must their clothes also be in a permanent state of military attention to achieve this?

I do use the mild spray starch on some of my clothes, but in Nigeria, I have come to realise that starching your cloth is not a half-hearted matter. I have been intrigued on many occasions when I saw people turned out in desperately starched attires whose sharp edge can effortlessly slice off the head of an elephant. To some people, it does not matter whether it is traditional attire or western, all must be starched and they must be starched stiff.

I really do not understand the reasoning behind this heavy starching and I am not going to give it a try.

4. Why do we have excess luggage when travelling – I once sat beside a Scottish gentleman on a flight from London to Lagos. We got talking, and once he felt relaxed with me, he excitedly asked me the question, Why is it that Nigerians almost always pack excess luggage when flying? I responded by saying that I too paid for an excess luggage.

The issue of excess luggage is as Nigerian as Lagos is Nigerian. We pack a lot of things into our luggage because there are just too many people for whom we have to buy gifts given the extended family system and because it is expected. We also like to take the maximum advantage of things, so if the luggage allowance is 32kg, a Nigerian believes, this must not be allowed to pass, therefore, his bag must be exactly 32kg or slightly more. We also find ourselves caught in this matter because we choose not to prepare for our journey in time, do not weigh our luggage, assume that we will be all right, and then find out at the airport that none of the assumptions line up to reality.

At the former hub of British Airways in Heathrow Terminal 4, a special section is reserved for weighing the luggage of passengers traveling to Nigeria. Interesting!

5. Why do we say 'You are welcome' when welcoming people – Still on the airport thing, have you noticed that whenever you arrive at the airport, everyone you meet - immigration officers, custom officials, cleaners greet people by saying ‘you are welcome’.

In its right usage, ‘You are welcome’ is a phrase which is said in response to someone who had thanked you for something. You may also respond by saying ‘don't mention it’, or ‘no thanks are needed, or ‘my pleasure’, or ‘I was glad to do it’. For example, if I say ‘Thanks for the gift’, the response can be, ‘You are welcome’.

No doubt, wrongly using ‘You are welcome’ as a form of greeting people on their arrival is because people think the phrase could be used interchangeably with the simple ‘welcome’. It is more probable that ‘you are welcome’ as a greeting is a literal translation of the Yoruba ‘e kaabo’.

6. Why do we like Jollof Rice – A few years ago, I found out that Jollof Rice most likely originated from the Wolof people of The Gambia. There, it is called ‘Benachin’ meaning ‘one pot’ because in their version of Jollof Rice, everything is cooked in the same pot including the meat.

Irrespective of where Jollof Rice originates and never mind that ‘Jollof’ rhymes with ‘Wolof’, Jollof Rice has been claimed by the larger and more aggressive Nigeria as its own.

Given the population of Nigeria, it is not unlikely that more Nigerians eat Jollof Rice in one day than Gambians do in two years. Although, there are several regional meals that defines the different ethnic groups in Nigeria, yet no event is complete without an adequate supply of Jollof Rice. It is the delicacy for children and young people. It is the delicacy at weddings, christening, funeral, Christmas, on all occasions. Nigerians love Jollof Rice, period.

I’m not sure why we do, except for the fact that I know if it is well cooked, Jollof Rice dishes especially when cooked with firewood is mouth-wateringly tasty.

No Light, No Fuel, No President

It's Christmas Eve. Below are some of the newspaper headlines of the last two weeks in Nigeria. If anything, it should alert all Nigerians, home and abroad to the monumental challenge before us. I hope it does.

• "President in Absentia - Day 31"
• "Yar'Adua’s absence: Ministers, directors disagree over unspent 2009 allocations."
• "Yar'Adua can rule from anywhere says Anodoakaa"
• "Money laundering: EFCC, Delta elders reject Ibori’s acquittal."
• "Supreme Court clears Soludo for Anambra poll."
• "6000 megawatts no longer possible this year - FG"
• "Maduekwe spends 2.7 billion Naira on foreign trips"
• "70% of Nigerians are poor-African Peer Review Mechanism Report."
• "Two more Nigerians ask court to declare Yar'Adua unfit to rule."
• "FEC approves 7 billion Naira contract for Vice President's new residence."
• "Fuel scarcity takes toll on inter-state travels."
• "6000 mega-watts lie."
• "Collapsed substation causes blackout in Lagos."
• "Police need spiritual cleansing says Osayande"
• "Shell to dump Nigeria’s oil fields."
• "Tragedy as truck kills 65 persons."
• "15bn fraud: I’m relaxed says Bafarawa."
• "EFCC arraigns Chikwe over 40million Naira fraud."
• "No federal road project completed in 2009 –FG."
• "Fuel: govt to investigate missing 90 million litres."
• "EFCC traces 11 houses in US to Cecilia Ibru."
• "Bankole (House Speaker) promises traditional rulers role in constitution."
• "Akingbola is not beyond our control – CBN boss."
• "Sanusi (Central Bank Governor) confirms receiving bids for rescued banks."
• "Appeal court dismisses Bode George, others’ application."
• "Ex- NYSC DG flays calls to scrap scheme."
• "El-Rufai sues IG, AGF over arrest warrant."
• "Senate, Foreign Affairs Ministry’s face-off deepens."
• "NDLEA arrests three suspects with 265 bags of cannabis."
• "Bakassi returnees seek S’South governors’ assistance."
• "Reps order NNPC, MDAs to remit N460.3bn to treasury."
• "Shell shuts down Soku Gas Plant."
• "Why 2009 Niger-Delta Ministry budget failed."
• "Solid minerals can contribute 20% GDP- FG."
• "Kolade advises pupils on leadership."
• "Yar’Adua: Aondoakaa under fire over comment."
• "Senate summons Akunyili, Muhtar over N8.2bn NTA equipment contract."
• "Bafarawa, eight others get bail."
• "Ex-militants seize bank in Calabar."
• "Nigeria can win Nations Cup"

Merry Christmas to all our readers. PostcardfromLagos

Remembrance Day in Britain and the Four-hour black-out in Brazil

Two things that got me thinking today

1. 1. Armistice Day – As they have done for several years, Britain stood still again today at the 11^th hour of the 11^th day of the 11^th month. Originally to commemorate the end of World War I, 91 years ago, it is now the day of remembrance for fallen soldiers in all wars. This year’s Remembrance Day is particularly poignant because of the increasing number of casualties from the war in Afghanistan. Only yesterday, six of the fallen heroes were repatriated to Britain fuelling a serious discussion about British involvement in the war.

Another dimension to this year’s event is that for the very first time, there is no survivor from the Great War to witness the 2009 ceremony, the last three men to have fought in the First World War - Bill Stone, Henry Allingham and Harry Patch - have all died since the 2008 Remembrance Day.

I must confess that I admire the way the British honour their war heroes. The ceremony of repatriating bodies of fallen soldiers is soberingly colourful and is usually handled with dignity and respect for the dead and their families. Each fallen soldier is named and remembered in Parliament by the Prime Minister and leaders of the main political parties. Two weeks before Remembrance Day, people start to wear a poppy to remember the fallen dead.

Also, come rain or shine, the Royal Family and leading politicians in the country will unfailingly throng out side by side on Remembrance Sunday (the nearest Sunday to Armistice Day) to pay their respect to the war dead by laying wreaths at the Cenotaph. The Last Post is played and the the men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice for the freedom enjoyed by all are remembered.

Britain is a country that honours its people, dead or alive. No wonder; it needs no re-branding process to make its citizens patriotic. I wish our government in Nigeria will begin to honour our people starting with the living by providing basic health care, good roads, education for children and food and water for the poor. I hope it will honour those who die in war and on our roads by ensuring that the causes are eliminated.

I am optimistic this will happen.

2. The Four-hour black-out in Brazil that made the news – I was minding my own business in my house, generator blaring and slowly deafening everyone around when I saw on Sky News that a four-hour electricity failure in Brazil had thrown a large section of the country into darkness. The cause of this 'newsworthy' story was a problem with a 14,000 megawatt hydro-electric station that supplies 20% of Brazil’s energy needs. I couldn’t help, but notice this rather ‘important’story that made Sky News simply because of the following:

· Only a few years ago, Brazil was essentially a developing country just like Nigeria, it has now left us in the shade

· Power failure, black-out, power-cut or the more prosaic Nigerian way ‘they have taken the light’ must be a rather uncommon thing in Brazil for it to make Sky News

· Never mind a black-out that covered a large section of Brazil for four hours, 100% of Nigeria i.e 140 million people are permanently thrown into darkness EVERYday.

· Our President has promised 6000 megawatt electricity generation by December this year. Let me make a prediction, come December, the government will accuse anything and everything as the reason why they can not achieve this.

· Sky news will have sufficient news fodder if it only reports on the enduring Nigerian black-out.

I am however optimistic that the day will come when a four-hour black-out in Nigeria will be a newsworthy story across the globe. PostcardfromLagos

An Independence Eve Experience

On the evening of the 30^th September 2009, I made my way to Ikeja to speak at the Independence Day programme of the Nigerian Conference of Christian Medical and Dental Students. Although the traffic was heavy and tiring, I was more concerned with the way the country was drifting. A few days before, our President had chosen to go to Saudi Arabia ostensibly to attend the opening of a new University of Science and Technology rather than attend the opening of the General Assembly of the United Nations. He was also meant to hold a meeting with the US President and network with a dozen other world leaders. Why did he not go? A commentator suggested 'stage fright'. But jokes apart, it appears that Nigeria has lost its confidence. The leadership mileage that was gained during the Obasanjo era has been completely wiped off in just over two years of this government, leaving the stage for Libya, South Africa and Ghana to determine the pace for Africa.

I was also concerned by the irony of the Saudi trip. There, was Yar’Adua basking in Saudi Arabia’s glory of a new University of Science and Technology - reputedly built in 18 months - yet Nigeria’s universities had been shut for three months due to a strike action by lecturers.

Much as I was concerned about these issues, what was more disconcerting was the steady unwillingness of this government to initiate or implement any policy that will make life easier for Nigerians. It’s like being ruled by a group of psychotic children who can’t govern but want to govern. Sadly, like a drowning man, most Nigerians have resigned to fate.

As you may imagine, these thoughts plagued my mind until I finally arrived at my destination with a few minutes to spare. Once I got there, I delved into the swing of things. Although many Nigerians had understandably concluded there was nothing to celebrate, these Lagos State Teaching Hospital medical students, in their patriotic fervour, had planned the event to celebrate Nigeria’s independence and seek a way forward for the country. Though lecturers were still on strike, they had stayed behind because they receive their lectures at the hospital and apparently because medical students hardly get a holiday let alone be moved by a 'mere' lecturers' strike.

I started by telling the story of my unsuccessful attempts to study medicine and how this quest shaped my teenage years. I then discussed with them how they can be instruments in God’s hands to shape our nation for good. I was impressed by their enthusiasm for the country despite the very challenging situation they face as medical students. They would meet again later that evening for a vigil at midnight 1^st of October to pray for Nigeria. They would visit the hospital wards in the morning to spend time with patients and they have also planned a visit to Ikoyi Prison on October the 10th.

I was amazed at their resourcefulness. They are young Nigerians with little means and a hectic schedule, yet they are painting a different and may I say 'goodly' picture of the country.

At the end of the programme, their President, Seyi Awhangasi, closed the meeting by asking everyone to rise and sing the second part of our national anthem:

O God of creation

Direct our noble cause

Guide our leaders right

Help our youth the truth to know

In love and honesty to grow

And living just and true

Great lofty heights attain

To build a nation where peace

And justice shall reign

We all chorused those beautiful words hoping that every line of it will come to pass and soon too. With this I departed full of hope for my country and clearly full of joy after an interesting evening.

On this our Independence month, Nigerian or not, please spare a prayer for Nigeria.

Rapid, Striking and Extroverted Nigerian Rain

It rained heavily this morning. Fast and furious, water gushed down from the sky continuously for about two hours. Although it was already 7 am, I pulled the curtains and had an extended stay in bed. After all, it's Saturday.

The rain was a welcome idea after the traditional August break which meant that we had little or no rain in nearly six weeks.

I love when it rains in Nigeria, especially at night and in the early mornings. Apart from it’s calming and sleep-lulling effects, rain is a sign that God still remembers us. Rain also means that seeds will grow and people will eat and life will continue.

Quite unlike the British rain which is scanty, intermittent and cold, rain in Nigeria is rapid, gregarious and cool with a soothing feeling to boot. Makes me wonder if the 'extroverted' rain that falls in Nigeria ever visits Europe, the aftermath flood will almost certainly cast Noah’s flood into the shade.

The 7 Wonders of Nigeria - Pure Water

Nigerians have a way of adulterating anything. For example, ‘pure water’ which is the name given to water sold in plastic sachets is anything but pure. Practically anyone can start a ‘pure water’ business; all that is required is to dig a well in the backyard and buy a sealing machine. However, NAFDAC, the agency that oversees food and drugs administration has done some work in cleaning up the industry although this is scarcely an invitation to drink ‘pure water’.

‘Pure water’ is hawked everywhere by young and old people alike and its sachets have become a nuisance and a danger to the Nigerian environment. You will find them everywhere - drains, along the road, and even on the highways. Along with discarded plastic bottles, they are certainly a huge environmental time bomb.

In defence of ‘pure water’, I must say that it provides a service to the nation as the cheapest and most flexible way of quenching the thirst of the average Joe in the searing heat of a Nigerian afternoon.

As part of its metamorphosis, the name ‘pure water’ has evolved to derogatively refer to anything that is ‘common’. This includes certain telephone handsets such as Nokia 3310 - an accessory you should never be caught dead with. Even the rich are not spared; Mercedes Benz M Class is also referred to as pure water in some quarters as it is believed to be ‘common’. Can you believe this? This is Nigeria for you.

On its own, pure water would not have made it to our list, however, for its service to the Nigerian masses and for all the other things it stands for including all that is ‘common’, ‘pure water’ is a wonder of Nigeria.